A lot of people have heard me talk about the short story that I've been writing for quite a long time. I have often found myself wondering if I would ever finish this story and to be honest, the outlook is kind of grim at this moment. But, what I do have for all of you is the ending. The very end of the story has been stuck in my brain for quite some time and I feel like typing it out for all of you might let you get a grasp of what I'm going for with this story and what I hope to accomplish by writing it. So here it is, the ending to the biggest project that I've ever entered into.
(Mind you, I'll probably re-write this ending about 10000000 times before I'm done, so nothing is set in stone.)
As I climbed up onto the short ledge that ran around the edge of the roof, I decided to jump off with my face pointing upwards. The way I figured it, I wanted my last moments of vision to be of something beautiful and substantial like the sky and not the sprawl of decay, sadness, and broken dreams that stretched out for so many miles around me. To be perfectly honest, I found myself surprised that I wanted to face the sky as I fell, considering that I'd spend countless days of my life agonizing over what I could see in those clouds. Putting one foot up on the ledge, I couldn't help but laugh at the conversation that I was having with myself. I was seriously debating, in my own head, mind you, how I was going to face as I fell off of a building with the intent to end my own life. I suppose that when you consider killing yourself, you never look into small details like what direction you're going to face or what clothes you want to wear.
Hell, maybe some people do think about that kind of stuff and I'm just terrible at doing this sort of thing, who knows. I found myself laughing at the thought of me trying to shoot myself and going, " No, not there, it'll get all over the wall and ruin that fruit painting that Mom loved so much." After giggling for a few moments over my stupid little detail-work, I realized how much more insane I must have looked standing on a windy ledge at the top of a building and laughing like 5 year old. Pretty soon, though, my laughter turned into sobs and I tipped backwards on the ledge and I began my trip downwards.
As I fell, I was instantly happy over my decision to fall with my face pointing upwards because I was sure that the wind whipping into my eyes would have made me cry for sure. Oddly, though, I could sense that I was crying and I knew exactly why as soon as I focused my eyes upwards and into the cloud-ridden sky. Directly above me, in an unmistakable cloud formation, was Valerie's face. After years of looking out of my apartment windows and painting every bit of the sky that I could see, I was finally looking at her face. The girl I knew so many years ago was looking down at me with the same face that she had on the day of her accident. The same kind features gazed down at me and made me feel just as warm and safe as they used to. At the same time that I began feeling this way, I heard her words echo in my ears, "When you look into the clouds, the thing that you desire the most appears to you." I had spent so much time wondering if what she had said was true and know I finally knew, I was finally able to find her in that sea of whiteness.
The wind whipped at my clothes and I began to hear the sounds of the city below me and I knew that the end of my journey was very close. I took a glance downward and my thoughts were confirmed as I saw the cars below me rushing into focus with every passing second. When I turned my head back towards the sky, I once again saw Valerie's face and I was pushed back into tears by the sight that greeted me.
The face that I had been longing to see for such a long time had broken out into a smile, a wonderfully sweet smile. As the ground approached me even faster, I looked right back into her face and smiled as wide as I could.